Last jokes
Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium hooked up last night?
OMg!
Planes shouldn't have free Wi-Fi. Why? Because the last time they had free Wi-Fi, well here's what happened...
On September eleventh 2001, (children scream).
Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!
Quote of the day: It's never too late to be what you wished you were.
Hope y'all are having a great day! I just got back from a volleyball tournament that I had to be up at 5 AM for! We played three games and won the last one. We advanced and are playing a few more tomorrow. Wish me and my team good luck!
My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.
I asked my girlfriend if we could try my rape fantasy last night. She said no. It was the best night of my life.
What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."
What were the astronauts' last words before the shuttle blew up?
"What does this button do...?"
What would you like as your last meal?
Fried chicken. Extra crispy.
Michael Jackson went into an Italian restaurant and died because he choked on 9-year-old meatballs.
I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.
What did MLK Jr. say when he spent the night on the internet?
"Last night I had a meme."
Cheer up! Old age doesn't last that long!
What did Michael Jackson say before he died, as far as his childhood? "This is it."
When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?
So, a mom and a dad are having sex. Their daughter comes down and says, "Mommy, Mommy, what are you doing?"
The mom goes, "Uh, we're making a cake. Let's go back to bed." So she tucks her daughter in and says, "We will go to the park tomorrow."
So the next day they go to the park, and two teens are going at it in some bushes, and the little girl goes, "Mommy, Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."
So they go home, and the mom tucked her into bed and says, "Tomorrow we will go to the zoo." And so the next day they go to the zoo, and two monkeys are going at it, and the girl goes, "Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."
And so they go home, and the girl goes, "Mommy, did you and Daddy make a cake last night?" And the mom nervously says, "N-no, why?" And the little girl goes, "Because I licked the icing off the couch."
Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!
What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?
The last names after marriage!
The last words of a depressive person are: "Yay, Freedom."