Last Will Jokes

I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”

What was Stephen Hawkins last words? System failure

girl: daddy ive been a bad girl priest: for the last time its father I have sinned

ah yes, cremation. My last chance of having a smokin' hot body.

I called the rape advice line last night turns out its just for victims

What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?

The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.

Apparently Monica Lewinsky didn't vote for Hillary Clinton this election. She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

what did the kid with luekemia watch last night? Finding Chemo

Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the last one who had a dream was shot.

My Grandmother died last month. The thing that bugs me to this day, I couldn't understand her last words ... through the pillow.

What did a cannibal have as his last meal?

Five guys.

I encountered a milf at a bar last night although she is 57 years old, she is still very charming and sexy

we were drinking, chatting, laughing, and having a good time

then, she asked me flirtatiously

"have you ever tried a mother-daughter threesome before?"

I said, "Nope, not yet".

She drank a little more, and said, "well, darling, tonight is your lucky night."

So she took me to her place.

She took out her keys

opens her door

turn on the light

and she yells towards upstairs

"Mom, are you still awake?”

my friend was on wheelchair......he committed suicide yesterday, I remember when i met him last time he told us a good joke and i appreciated him and i told him to become stand up comedian.

I’ll never forget my brother’s last words: “Why is there a revolver in your hand?”

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

You: Say "addicted" after everything I say. Person: Uh okay. You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...? Person: Addicted. You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...? Person: Addicted. You: What hit you in the face last night? Person: Addicted... *laughs* (It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")