Last Will Jokes

I don't know an orphan joke, but I bib cried last night.

Because I am an orphan.

I will never forget my grandfather's last words:

"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"

My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!

It's not my birthday, but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house.

Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!

Yo mama so old, she was a waitress at the last supper.

I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”

Why are people in Japan so thin?

Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.

I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.

It was a breathtaking experience.

109 countries can't be wrong. Watch Europa: The Last Battle.

Quote of the day: It's never too late to be what you wished you were.

Hope y'all are having a great day! I just got back from a volleyball tournament that I had to be up at 5 AM for! We played three games and won the last one. We advanced and are playing a few more tomorrow. Wish me and my team good luck!

Hello, I am School Shooter Memes. For the last month I made School Shooter Jokes on the site, so now I want you guys to vote for the best one. It will be in a quarterfinal format with the 8 of them being the most liked. I will link all of the polls in the comments so make sure to vote for your favourite joke.

Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"

Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."

Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."

Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."

My last thought: Am I a murderer?

Grandpa's last words: "Why do you have a chainsaw?"

What did Ron put in his diary?

I "Her-mio-ne" after I banged her last night.

A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."

My sister's name was Philma. We were unfortunate enough to have the last name Coochie. Let's just say no more virgins were at that school.

What was the last thing that crossed Princess Diana's mind?

The steering wheel.

What was the last thing that went through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?

Their ankles.

If my phone battery lasted as long as my relationship, I would never be able to play on my phone.

What's the last thing that went through Curt Cobain's mind?

His teeth.