I asked my friend if he would take a bullet for the last person he slept with.
He said hell yeah, I'd do anything for my sister!
I asked my friend if he would take a bullet for the last person he slept with.
He said hell yeah, I'd do anything for my sister!
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because we shot the last one that had a dream.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)
At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.
On a related note, I suck at darts.
Two men are sitting at a coffee table.
Mike: "I think I might have a drinking problem."
Joe: "Why do you say that?"
Mike: "Well, last week I got so drunk I blew chunks."
Joe: "That's nothing to be ashamed of; we all drink a little too much sometimes."
Mike: "No, you don't understand. Chunks is my dog's name."
An old man goes to a church and is making a confession:
Man: "Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18-year-old."
Father: "When was the last time you made a confession?"
Man: "I never have, I am Jewish."
Father: "Then why are telling me all this?"
Man: "I’m telling everybody!"
What is the last thing you wanna see during a prostate exam?
The doctor taking off his watch.
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.
I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.
Violets are blue, roses are red.
Last night your mom was giving me head.
Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.
I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.
James Last, the king of the LP bargain bin, died a Florida Man.