its better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? happiness never lasts forever
why are people in japan so slim. bcuz the last time a fatman came the lost half their population
Tried committing suicide last night...
Never doing that shit again, I almost killed myself! :0
I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"
I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that i saw pristiano penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?"
"Yes," replies the murderer, "Can you please hold my hand?"
I’ll never forget my grandpas last words
Are you still holding the ladder
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, "Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce."
Q: What was the name of Michael Jackson's last book? A: The ins and outs of child rearing.
why do we not have female magicians because last time we had them we burned them alive
What’s the only long-lasting thing from China?
Covid
doctor: you need to eat healthy
me: no
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after i suggested it died
me: oh my goodness
doctor: in a plane crash
me: that sounds unrelated
doctor: i'm the one that crashed it. do not disobey me
Last night I burned an orphanage there was one survivor who said I would regret it I said "What are you gonna do tell your parents?"
I’ll never forget my father’s last words...
Oh fuck, it’s a bus!
what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died. “Are you still holding the ladder?”
I'll Never Forget My Grandfathers Last Words "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER YOU LITTLE CUNT!"
I never forget my grandpa’s last words Are you still holding the ladder?
My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes. I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."
