Language jokes

My three favorite things are eating my family, and not using commas.

There's 3 words in important: I'm, port, ant.

I have (I HAVE) bolas.

"OH MY GOD! IT SPEAKS!"

Anonymous 1: Why are you crying?

Anonymous 2: No, buddy, come to my finral.

I didn't steal it. 🌚

Stop it why offends... asf.

Pulp is a palindrome.

. --... -. -...--.

You know that the F in orphan may stand for family, but it actually stands for "fuck family."

I can't spell. Spell. Pels. Slepe. Spell. Ellpas[a[dpa[pw[paew[pfopaojf[apdkoc[asndcsdokd Fkuc.

You soak balls, get it?

The smartest kid in my class says "is-land" instead of "island."

There is no "W" in the word "Africa," just like there is no water.

Tongue twister: Through three cheese trees Three free fleas flew. While these three fleas flew, freezy breeze blew. Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze; freezy trees made these tree's cheese freeze.

That's what made these three fleas sneeze. 👍😀

How do you say “Yes, you look good” in Spanish?

– Sí...

See deez nuts!

I was gonna tell you a great pun, but it's too cheesy.

I smell up dog in here.

"What's up, dog?"

Nothing much, how about you?

What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.

Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!

Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a bridge? "(sign language)"

Friend 1: How come when you say "apart" your lips move apart, but when you say "together" they move apart?

Me: Maybe your lips want a divorce.

What did the window say to the door?

"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"

Get it?