Language jokes
My three favorite things are eating my family, and not using commas.
Me: How do you say yes in Spanish? You: Si. Me: Si if these nuts fit in your mouth.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
Little old lady, you don't need to yodel about it. Yodel who? Yodel who?
Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.
Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"
What do you call a person with no body or a nose?
Nobody knows.
Memes
Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's just a joke!
How much you wanna bet you will not repeat my name out loud (at school/work)?
Words can’t describe how beautiful you are.
But numbers can. (Lol)
What did the window say to the door?
"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"
Get it?
What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a bridge? "(sign language)"
You add words = bullshit.
Two urchins, L. H. A. B.
abcdef ghijklmnop qrstuv.
I would tell you a cat pun, but it's too purr-fect to share.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Fix the door, it's broken!
Knock knock. Who's there? Bear. Bear who? Bear bum!
This is how animals were named.
"Bye Son." *cuts call*. What are we talking about?
"Bison. Perfect."
How names were named.
"I have to go because my tailor is at the gym where he will chase coal before dawn."
"SAY THAT AGAIN. SO MANY GOOD NAMES!"
This is 15 first-year treating a swan.
Students return: "Without payment?"
The word "I die with many important problems."
Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"