What do you call a bad pun?
The pun is not punny!
Language Jokes
Patient: Doctor, I feel like a needle.
Doctor: I see your point!
I make science puns, but only periodically.
How do you shrivel a dick?
What language do people at the center of the Earth speak?
Core-an (Korean)
Friend: Eric, spell mouse.
Eric: M O U S.
Friend: Yes - But what's on the end of it?
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Fix the door, it's broken!
My mom said, "You are in big trouble!"
I said, "Are you going to punish me?"
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
I asked a Chinese girl her number, she said "Sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight." I said, "Wow!"
Her friend corrected her by saying, "She means: 666-3629."
You guys have very baaaaaaa-d puns!
Someone at school judged my grammar.
I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.
My puns drive people nuts; this is usually when I bolt away.
I entered 10 puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.
Finish the sentence.
Salt and Vi.....
I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.
What does a transgender call his/her parent?
Transparent.
Can I branch out to some tree puns? Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on!
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the toilet? Because the “p” is silent.
In Portuguese, "Trumpa" means bullshit.
