Language jokes
"Dick dick dick, fuck dick nugget shit."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Owl say.
Owl say who?
Yes, they do.
Spell "IOUT", no space.
I told you ten puns to make you laugh, and I do not pun in-ten-did.
What do you call a PEIS?
Your AMAMA.
Say:
"Eye"
Spell:
"Map"
Say:
"Ness"
Now say it fast!
I went to China and said, "I have a big cock," so they thought I said they look like a cock. Then I realized I said it in English.
Say, "Crack my fingers."
Now say that backwards...
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam.
What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.
What's the difference between the microphone and Bambi?
One is a Welsh idea, the other's a well shy deer.
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dyslexic.
Dyslexic who?
You.
I am not that good at making ice jokes, but it will suffice.
I am only familiar with 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don't know why.
What do bitches say?
"FUCK ALL YA NASTY BITCHES!"
Johnny was watching TV when he heard them say "bitch" and "bastard," so he asked his dad, "What is a bitch and bastard?"
Dad said, "A bitch is a female, and a bastard is a male."
Then Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "ass" and "shit," so he asks his dad what "shit" and "ass" means. Dad says, "A shit is shaving cream, like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat. Why don't you bug your mom?"
So Johnny goes back to the TV, and then they say "fuck," so Johnny asks his mom what "fuck" means. Mom says, "Fuck means carving, like doing to the turkey." Then a few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door, so he answers it. He then says, "Welcome, bitch and bastard, may I tack your ass?" The people then ask where his parents are. Johnny says, "My dad is putting shit on his face, and my mom is fucking the turkey."
My name is Gunter.
Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.
What do you call a Russian prostitute? Slobadown Mycockyoubitch.