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Language jokes

Someone at school judged my grammar.

I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.

I entered 10 puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.

I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.

Can I branch out to some tree puns? Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on!

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the toilet? Because the “p” is silent.

I heard a joke about candy bars, but it wasn't very funny, so I just snickered.

A Mexican was doing a magic trick. He said, "uno, dos," then disappeared without a trace.

A man is meeting a client in Japan, but arrives a day early. When night hit, he went out with a prostitute. They're having sex, but the prostitute kept shouting "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!", so the man thinks he's doing a good job. The next day, the man meets his client and they go golfing, and the client gets a hole in one. The man praises him by going "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!". His client turns around confused and says, "What do you mean wrong hole!?"

Stranger: Knock knock.

Person: Who's there?

Stranger: Sugma.

Person: Sugma who?

Stranger: Sugma balls, kid!

Why did the first fence hate the other fence?

The second fence used some of-fensive language.

What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? "Smiles," because there is a mile between the first letter and the last.