Land jokes
Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.
Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.
"Why is Peter Pan always flying?"
"He never lands."
It's way too soon for Kobe jokes.
They never land well.
What’s the issue with 9/11 jokes?
They never land.
Just like the planes.
Why did the caretaker of the Twin Towers get sacked?
He left the landing lights on.
Stephen landed at Tilted and got 199 pumped, he's 1 shot!
What is the difference between Superman and an emo kid? Superman can actually land.
The smartest kid in my class says "is-land" instead of "island."
Why can you say "Kobe" even though you missed?
Because he didn't land either.
Sully: Praised after landing in the Hudson River.
Garuda Indonesia 421:
Sully's co-pilot:
Obama has dih.
But the Twin Towers just had a hard landing.
My uncle died from falling off a ladder and landing on his head (true story).
All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put my uncle together again.
The terrorists suck at [something]. They lost two times to the Twin Towers? Like, how do you land so far from it? One of them landed in a field.
Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?
There, there, over there, and over here too.
We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class.
I started playing the Angry Birds theme song. That didn't fly well with people, the teacher yelled at me like a bomb, and I landed on the ground.
A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of acres, so I punched him in the teeth.
Mufasa is proof that cats don't always land on their feet.
Why was Elon Musk unable to land a job as a television host at NBC?
His own car cannot catch up with Jay Leno's Corvette!
Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.
Little Timmy is hanging out with Rapunzel, and he mentions Hugo and a few other characters from Varian And The Seven Kingdoms, and she responds with, “Who the frick are you talking about? Since I don’t know them, I got a surprise for you!” She wraps him up in Christmas wrapping paper labeled "For Eugene."