Land jokes

One day, a child walks along and asks, "Mother, why am I called Butterfly?"

The mother replies, "A butterfly landed on you as a baby."

A minute later, another child comes along and says, "Mother, why am I called Feather?"

The mother then replied, "Because a feather fell on your head when you were born."

Then Brick comes along and says, "Ahahhsdjsjskxs."

You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...

Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.

A leaf and an emo fell off a cliff, who landed first? The leaf, because the rope stopped the emo.

I'm the champion of this site. I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary Buddha.

Now for my joke...

Why does Peter Pan always fly?

Because he never lands.

The terrorists lost their landing gear and had to make a crash landing into the closest building because religion.

Yo mama so fat, when she landed on the earth, the earth cracked like eggs. LOL.

Kobe: Stop doing dark humor!

Me: Why? They don't land well together?

Why is the ocean so salty?

Because the land doesn't wave back! 🤣

What do you call an octopus on land?

A spider, duh!

Yo hairline so large, you could land a fighter jet on it.

What do the Twin Towers and a bad joke have in common? They never land well.

Which country can swim?

Finland. Get it? Fin Land?

What did the Mexican say when a house landed on him?

Esé said, “Get off me, homes!”

A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree. Which one is gonna land first?

The leaf, because the rope stops the emo kid.

I would say a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't land well.

Yesterday I purchased a world map and told my wife to throw a dart, and wherever it lands, I will take her. Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.

There were four people who went to land... only three returned... Why?

They left someone for memories!

Nasruddin Hodja was tilling his patch of land when a hunter came riding up.

“Hey, you!" said the man. “Did you see a boar run past?"

“Yes," replied Hodja.

“Which way did it go?" demanded the man.

Hodja pointed in the direction in which the boar had gone.

The man rode away without a word of thanks, but he was back within minutes.

“No sign of it!" he said. “Are you sure it went that way?"

“I am certain," replied Hodja. “It went that way. Two years ago."

Why do Indians gamble so much? They are hoping to one day reclaim their land.

A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.

When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.

"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.