Know jokes
Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.
Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏
Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?
She lost her taste.
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....I'll let you know.
How do you know Adam and Eve were White?
Have you ever tried taking a rib from a Black man?
Did you know that Stephen Hawking's death was an accident because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep mode?"
Did you know emos are the highest jumpers? Some of them are still in the air.
I didn’t know how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
Do you know what the hardest part of school is?
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!
How do you know when a joke has turned into a dad joke?
When it leaves you and never comes back.
You know it’s called the circle of life? Because there’s no point to it.
You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!
Did you know you don't actually wash your hands?
They wash each other while you stand there looking at them like a creep.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
You know what I like most about people with Parkinson's... Their handshake!
Do you want to know how the NY Jets got their name?