Know jokes

How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

With a taste test.

The term "every 60 seconds" is so stupid.

You know Africans don’t get seconds.

I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.

Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.

Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."

Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."

It takes a lot of trust for two cannibals to gluck gluck each other. You never know when it's goodbye willy.

One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.

How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?

Do you know that “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” usually mean the same thing?

Except at a funeral.

If you don’t know the difference between their, there, and they’re, then you're an idiot.

How do you know when you're near Wacko Jacko's grave? When 'Thriller' is out and about.

How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?

When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.

What's the similarities between anonymous and a cow? I think you know...

If you text your crush and they leave you on read, just know that "read" has four letters. You know what also has four letters? "Mine." So that basically means that you are theirs. :)

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and slapped his thigh and said, "You know you wanna."

Jill said yes, picked up her dress and said, "Let's have some fun!"

Silly ole Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

I know a lot of people hate tapeworms, but they will always have a special place in my heart.

Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?

Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.

What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.

(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)

I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"

Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"

Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."

Yo mama so fat, the only letters that she knows are KFC.

How do you know Adam and Eve were white?

Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?