Kind jokes
What kind of candy do astronauts eat in space?
Mars bars.
Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.
What kind of jokes doesn’t work out?
Fat people jokes.
What kind of bug can tell time? A clock-roach.
What kind of music do elves listen to? Wrap music.
What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy? A sturgeon!
What kind of man would be a lesbian's best friend? A decimen.
Dad: "Honey, I'll be right back. I need to get some papers."
Me: "Okay." *Falls asleep.*
*Wakes up in an adoption center.*
Damn, it was those kind of papers.
What kind of rape victim has a shower ten times a day?
The type that gets raped a lot.
Sodomising a physically challenged homophobic heterosexual white male is better than the smallest act of kindness.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.
(Just a joke, she's probably kind.)
What kind of shells do tanks use to cheat?
A-cheat shells.
Hey, guys! Just a quick reminder to spread kindness today and treat others how you want to be treated!
Rate your day on a scale of 1-10 in the comments below. Mine was about a 7. Also, can you guys please comment [on] what you guys want me to cover in these little messages? Sometimes it's hard to tell if you guys like that I'm doing this kind of stuff or not.
Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"
What kind of Panera Bread do pencils use?
Panera Lead.
What kind of chocolate do racists hate?
Dark chocolate.
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N
Why don’t you act like your hairline and kindly take several steps back?
Man: I must confess, Father.
Priest: What are you here to confess?
Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.
Priest: And what happened to your son?
Man: He said a man raped him.
Priest: When and where did this happen?
Man: A local church. I don't know which one.
Priest: ...By whom?
Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.
Priest: ...Shit
What kind of cold flu do the Japanese get? The Koflu.