Kill jokes
Why are Nepalese bad at chess?
Because someone already killed their king!
Inmate 1: Why are you in prison?
Inmate 2: I killed 4 people and robbed someone, what about you?
Inmate 1: I blew up a school bus.
Inmate 2: OMG, you demon! Were they autistic?
Inmate 1: No, they were Fortnite kids.
Inmate 2 (who is Muslim): Halelouia, we have found the messiah!
What do you call a bus full of kids? A killstreak.
Walk The Dinosaur-By watersharky Productions and Was(Not Was)-
Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom
It was a night like this forty million years ago I lit a cigarette, picked up a monkey skull to go The sun was spitting fire, the sky was blue as ice I felt a little tired, so I watched Miami Vice And walked the dinosaur, I walked the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur
I met you in a cave, you were painting buffalo I said I'd be your slave, follow wherever you go That night we split a rattlesnake and danced beneath the stars You fell asleep, I stayed awake and watched the passing cars And walked the dinosaur, I walked the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur
One night I dreamed of New York You and I roasting blue pork In the Statue of Liberty's torch Elvis landed in a rocket ship Healed a couple of leapers and disappeared But where was his beard?
A shadow from the sky much too big to be a bird A screaming crashing noise louder than I've ever heard It looked like two big silver trees that somehow learned to soar Suddenly a summer breeze and a mighty lion's roar I killed the dinosaur, I killed the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody kill the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody kill the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody kill the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody kill the dinosaur
Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom
đź’” The Broken Family đź’” . Part 1
Girl: Mom, dad tried to have sex with me last night.
Mom: Are you serious?? (Shocked)
Girl: Yah. He said I must kiss him after he didn't want to let me go.
Mom: Am gonna kill ur dad (Angry)
Girl: Please mom, we still need him, who will buy use food and clothes. You don't have a job mom.
Mom: But what he did was wrong.
Girl: I know.
(SOUND OF A CAR COMING IN)
Mom: Is that ur dad.
Girl: Yes Mom
Comment Part 2
I lost $10,000, so I killed my piggy bank, so I get a real pig and money which my money is fake, but the janitor said it is real, so I killed myself and turned into a real human.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
People have been killed.
People have been killed who?
The 9/11 victims.
I like my women like I like my microwaves.
Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her.
Did you know that big black dicks can be weapons and can kill people?
Floyd Mayweather proved it when he gave it to Logan Paul in the ass.
Little Johnny brought a baseball bat to school.
The teacher asked why he had one. He said, "I need it to beat up the principal!"
When the principal found out what Little Johnny had said, well, let’s just say Little Johnny didn’t need no baseball bat to kill him.
Don’t kill the Earth, it’s the only one with beer.
What do you get when you kill a brown chicken and brown cow?
Dead chicken and dead cow.
There’s so many protests. Every time I see "my body, my choice," I can’t tell if we’re protesting the masks or trying to kill babies.
Uranus is larger than Neptune, but Neptune is more massive/heavier. (Fact not joke, also Neptune, don't kill me!)
I will always remember my grandpa's last words after robbing a bank: "Oh, shit! The pigs are catching up!" But the cops did not kill him; he drove full speed off a cliff.
I put a Dalmatian in a washing machine and killed him.
My grandpa killed 100 German soldiers; he was the worst German pilot ever.
If you kill a killer, the same amount of killers in the room stays the same.
My grandpa was amazing. He killed Hitler.
My friend said that his book was getting boring and that he's gonna kill off some characters.
I asked him what his book was about and he said, "Oh, it's an autobiography."