Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year? Because they don't have a Father's Day.
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his perants were. He cried more. Orphanages are really fun to work at.
What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun? Special Forces
A kid asks his mom what dark humor is. She says, “You see that man with no arms, tell him to clap.” “But mom I’m blind!” says the kid. “Exactly,” replied the mom.
My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.
Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again. Husband: Wait dear.. Don’t do it for the sake of our kid! Wife: Kid? Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?
What do kids play when they have nothing else to do? Bored games.
A kid in the back of the class just yelled “Jenga!” The class was watching a 9/11 documentary.
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid) what comes after x The Quiet kid: splosion Teacher: What comes after A The Quiet kid: K-47 Teacher: faints
is it just me or you kids have imaginations