"What’s your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.” "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, “No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk.”
I play saxophone and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason I got multiple restraining orders because I said “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson”, I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
What is the real reason why men Jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.
I pushed a kid on a wheelchair into the school fire and said "hot wheels"
I asked my friend "shouldn't we have 6 senses?" he replied "what is the 6th sense?" "common sense" I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention" never mind" I said.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands.
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
pov when the orphan kid goes to cherch and thay hav to swer on something the kid i swere on my...frends oh wait i dont have any
What did the Autistic kid say to his bully? ARRRRRRRRR
I went to jail because i gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days
(i deleted mother's day and father's day)
Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.
In middle school, we had to create words with magnet letters. Some kid laid the word "Animal Therapist". I changed one space and got sent home :/
what's the difference between a seal and special kid?
they both go: uh! uh! uh! uh! uh! uh! uh! uh!
Why do so many kids love boomerangs? Because they always come back.
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year? Because they don't have a Father's Day.
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his perants were. He cried more. Orphanages are really fun to work at.
My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.
Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.
Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again. Husband: Wait dear.. Don’t do it for the sake of our kid! Wife: Kid? Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?
