Kid jokes
What's an autistic kid's favorite transformer?
Autistemist Prime.
Did you hear about the emo kid in a wheelchair? Exactly.
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”
Teacher: “Alright, we’re going to play Kahoot! Please use your real name.”
That one kid putting Joe: -_-
Teacher: Who’s Joe?
The whole class: JOE MAMA!
When the quiet kid finally crashes out
Why was the kid's report card all wet?
Because it was below "sea" level.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Move to a new house.
Dwarfism is a growing problem.
Kidding, that’s not funny. My friend died of dwarfism.
He jumped off a curb stone.
When the school shooter kills the teacher and the autistic kid declares communism
Why couldn't the kid with Down syndrome play football?
Because he got all the downs.
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.
Ever wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?
They made the toys.
Why do dwarfs do drugs?
To get high.
My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.
No, they will be wondering what I look like.
On a hot summer's day, a famous celebrity tweeted, "It is a beautiful day, and I'm deciding which kid to have fun with today." To which the local priest replied, "I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today."
These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"
When an emo kid jumps out of a tree, what happens when he hits the ground?
Nothin' much, he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some mairawanah.
Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna," but dumb-ass Jill forgot her pills, and now they have 12 kids.
Give a blind kid a gun and tell him it's a hair dryer.
I beat up a deaf kid the other day. I had to. He kept throwing up gang signs.