Kid Jokes

I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."

What’s an emo kid's favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!

How is an emo kid’s wrist like Pink Floyd?

It’s all shitty until you reach the final cut.

When I saw a kid fall with no legs, I said, "Just walk it off!"

I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.

The meme shows a split image. On top, a cartoon character (Doofenshmirtz from "Phineas and Ferb") is looking out of a window with labels above him: "Millennials" and "Gen Z." Below, there is another image with a dark, ominous castle with the text: "Gen Alpha consisting of elsagate kids and skibidi toilet kids."

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.

Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

What was the African kid with water called...? The lucky one. 😭😭

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they just sit in the dark and cry.

Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.

Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.

Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.

I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"

Kid: Knock, knock.

Orphan: Who’s there?

Kid: Not your parents.

I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.

Parents are like food—not all kids get them.

There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.