Kid jokes

What did the parent say to M.J.?

"Get off my kid!"

Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?

Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.

Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!

Stacy: lol

Why is the gay kid gay?

Because he likes men.

I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏

I don't like them white, pale, always talking about death EMO kids!

Sorry, I meant CHEMO kids.

You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.

And an exorcism.

Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.

That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman:

I got hired to work as a camp counselor for kids with ADHD, but I got fired. I guess I shouldn't have introduced myself with "Welcome to concentration camp".

The Emo kid was late to his flight, so he needed to cut to the chase.

What am I gonna do on the 5th anniversary of the Parkland shooting?

Shoot a load in you just like I shot those kids ;)

What does the dumb kid say to the blind kid?

"Long time no see!"

Why do blind kids like plane crashes?

Because you can’t dislike what you have never seen.

What do Israel and Epstein have in common?

"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."

The teacher made us present a slideshow to introduce ourselves.

Mine is bright and colorful with music. It was so good that a kid started dancing!

Why was the rapper always late?

Because he had to drop his kids off at the Rhyme Bus.

Why did the sped kid get expelled?

Because he was tardy.

Kid singing “abcd.”

Person says, “No, no, it’s obcd.”

What instrument does a special ed kid play? An autistic guitar.

I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"

He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"

"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.

What's a pedo's favorite snack?

Sour Patch Kids.