Kid jokes
What do you get when you cross an adopted kid with a river?
Moses hits the adoption lottery!
I gave an emo kid money.
He gave me the great depression.
Met the emo kid today; he was pretty chill; he was just hanging out.
I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.
He never came back the next day, says the local news.
Where's is the candy, sir???
Over there.
(kid steps in van)
I don't see any candy.
What do you call a gay kid on fire?
Knock knock. Who's there? Colin! Colin who? Colonisation!
Just kidding, colonisers don't knock before they come in.
Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?
Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
Why did the kid get grounded? Because he was always lion.
My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.
No, they will be wondering what I look like.
Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.
Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.
Hi! It's the kid with another dark joke! On this episode: Orphans!
Orphanage kid: You’re ugly!
Kid with mother: Your mom!
I got a GTR yesterday, now my kids say, "GTR we there yet?"
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite movie? Cabbage Patch Kids.
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"
Me: Where's your mom?
Kid: [cries]
Me: [leaving from the adoption center]