Kid jokes

Good news, people! Michael Jackson is still alive. They found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids!

What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?

A 24 killstreak!

As a kid, I used to eat a sour herb from a certain spot near a rock.

Now I pee on it, just following the ritual of Africa.

When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.

What do an X-Box and Michael Jackson have in common? They're both made of plastic and little kids turn them on.

What do you call a group of Emo kids?

Suicide Squad.

What jumps and never let's go?

An Emo kid.

I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.

Dead.

Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?

The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.

How do you get 50 hungry kids into a box? You put a can of beans in there.

How do you get 50 hungry kids out of a box? You run past with a can opener.

What did the kid say to the orphan?

"Well, at least I have parents!"

One day, there were three people: a mom and two kids. One of the kids walks up and asks her mom why she was named Rose. Her mom told her that she ate a rose petal when she was born; that is why she was named Rose.

Then the second child walked up and yelled, "Ahhhhhh!" and the mom said, "Shut up, Billy Goat!"

Are you an orphanage?

Why?

Because I wanna put my kids in you.

What did the emo say to the popular kid?

"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."

Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?

"Because his dad never brought the milk."

I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to "Hang in there."

Little Johnny brings his cat to school, and then the teacher asked him why. Little Johnny says, "Because I heard my dad tell my mom I'm going to eat that pussy up when the kids leave!"

There are two kids sitting in a classroom: Lily and John. Lily sleeps in class every day.

The teacher asks Lily who made heaven and earth. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"

The teacher says, "That's right."

The teacher says the next day she asks the same question. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"

"That's right," the teacher says.

The next day she asks Lily what did Eve say to Adam after their 100th. John pokes her again. "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'mma break it in half!" she shouts.

I went to a park, then I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair, then screamed "Rocket League!"

Are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids inside you.

Ugly kid, people keep saying I'm ugly.

Me: They're certainly not wrong.

"Ugly kid, I feel ugly."

"Me? You don't have feel ugly, you already ugly."

Did you know emo kids are the highest jumpers in the world? Some are still up there!