Kid jokes
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your mom told me to follow me.
Orphan: But I don't have a mom!
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree, who made it to the floor first?
The leaf. The emo kid was caught on a rope.
What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
Kid: I got homework.
Mom: Ok, so?
Kid: I got a F in my balls.
Kid: I need help!
Mom: Help your balls.
What touches kids and is made out of plastic?
Michael Jackson, hee hee!
What do you call a kid on the track team who isn't on the track team?
A school shooter.
What do you call a white kid at the back of class?
A school shooter.
What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?
Do you want to hang later?
How are an emo kid and a hanging child the same?
Depends on who's hanging.
Q: Why did the emo kid get jealous on Xmas?
A: He saw the ornaments hanging.
Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?
Rapey Santa.
Good news, people! Michael Jackson is still alive. They found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids!
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
As a kid, I used to eat a sour herb from a certain spot near a rock.
Now I pee on it, just following the ritual of Africa.
When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.
What do an X-Box and Michael Jackson have in common? They're both made of plastic and little kids turn them on.
What do you call a group of Emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What jumps and never let's go?
An Emo kid.
I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.
Dead.
Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?
The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.