Kid jokes

Little Johnny brings his cat to school, and then the teacher asked him why. Little Johnny says, "Because I heard my dad tell my mom I'm going to eat that pussy up when the kids leave!"

There are two kids sitting in a classroom: Lily and John. Lily sleeps in class every day.

The teacher asks Lily who made heaven and earth. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"

The teacher says, "That's right."

The teacher says the next day she asks the same question. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"

"That's right," the teacher says.

The next day she asks Lily what did Eve say to Adam after their 100th. John pokes her again. "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'mma break it in half!" she shouts.

I went to a park, then I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair, then screamed "Rocket League!"

Are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids inside you.

Ugly kid, people keep saying I'm ugly.

Me: They're certainly not wrong.

"Ugly kid, I feel ugly."

"Me? You don't have feel ugly, you already ugly."

Did you know emo kids are the highest jumpers in the world? Some are still up there!

How do two emo kids greet each other?

"I like ya cut, G."

Imagine Michael Jackson having kids? Would they come out Black or white or plastic?

Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?

Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂

Why is Michael Jackson on the naughty list this year?

Because he sexually kids 😂

Little Johnny was late to class. The teacher asked him where he was. Little Johnny said, "I was on top of Marry Hill." Then a kid comes late to class and also said he was on Marry Hill. Then a little girl that's about 4 or 5 comes in. The teacher asks, "Who are you?" She said, "I'M MARRY HILL!"

When there's no piñata at the party, but the emo kid just hung himself.

A kid annoyed me the other day. I told him to shut up and go back to his parents. That's the last time I'm going to an orphanage.

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

I hate when my brother dates other people.

Just kidding! 😵😵😵😵

Why did the lil kid cut himself?

Answer: Because he was emo, HAHHHAHAHAHAAHHA!

An emo kid walked to me holding a rope, and asked: "Do you want to join my family tree?"

"So I asked a genie if he could grant me this wish. I wished to be like Michael Jackson. The next day, I was in a playground full of little kids."

What do orphans and sperm donor kids have in common? They don't have dads.