Kid jokes
What touches kids and is made out of plastic?
Michael Jackson, hee hee!
What do you call a kid on the track team who isn't on the track team?
A school shooter.
What do you call a white kid at the back of class?
A school shooter.
What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?
Do you want to hang later?
How are an emo kid and a hanging child the same?
Depends on who's hanging.
Q: Why did the emo kid get jealous on Xmas?
A: He saw the ornaments hanging.
Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?
Rapey Santa.
Good news, people! Michael Jackson is still alive. They found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids!
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
As a kid, I used to eat a sour herb from a certain spot near a rock.
Now I pee on it, just following the ritual of Africa.
When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.
What do an X-Box and Michael Jackson have in common? They're both made of plastic and little kids turn them on.
What do you call a group of Emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What jumps and never let's go?
An Emo kid.
I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.
Dead.
Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?
The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.
How do you get 50 hungry kids into a box? You put a can of beans in there.
How do you get 50 hungry kids out of a box? You run past with a can opener.
What did the kid say to the orphan?
"Well, at least I have parents!"
One day, there were three people: a mom and two kids. One of the kids walks up and asks her mom why she was named Rose. Her mom told her that she ate a rose petal when she was born; that is why she was named Rose.
Then the second child walked up and yelled, "Ahhhhhh!" and the mom said, "Shut up, Billy Goat!"
Are you an orphanage?
Why?
Because I wanna put my kids in you.
What did the emo say to the popular kid?
"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to "Hang in there."