Back
Kid

Kid jokes

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair going through a fire? Ghost Rider.

One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."

His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."

Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"

Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa Claus?

Because they're the ones who made the toys.

So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.

A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. đź’€

Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?

I told him to be a stand-up comedian!

Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."

The kid: But it has no home button.

Me: Exactly. đź’€

Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?

Someone turned off flight mode.

(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)

An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."

A homeless kid once said he will go home.

I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."

When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.

When you're watching a 9/11 documentary, that one kid in your class finds the 97th Jenga block and knocks it down.

So, I was at a funeral the other day, and it was a school shooting mass funeral. The lady beside me asked me, “What do you think was going through their heads?” And I replied, “Probably a bullet.” She was furious and said, “How dare you! You have no idea what those kids were probably going through!” And I replied, “Well, they were going through anything the bullet was going through them.”

What's in common with Michael Jackson and a phone?

Kids play with both of them.

What do Kurt Cobain and an emo kid have in common?

They both smell like "Teen Spirit."