Kid jokes

Ask the emo kid: "Hey, how's it hanging?"

Official Dj Penaldo playlist.

1. "I'm a fraud" 2. "I need you (ft. Tap-ins)" 3. "I Want to Leave Mid United" 4. "Back where I belong (ft. Europa league)" 5. "TY Eder" 6. "Nobody wants me (Rejectnaldo Remix)" 7. "Fuck that kid (ft. Lil Broke phone)" 8. "Sewy (Benched +arms crossed version)"

Knock knock. Who's there? Colin! Colin who? Colonisation!

Just kidding, colonisers don't knock before they come in.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

What is the difference between Superman and an emo kid? Superman can actually land.

I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair going through a fire? Ghost Rider.

One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."

His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."

Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"

Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa Claus?

Because they're the ones who made the toys.

So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.

A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Hot Wheels!"

Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?

I told him to be a stand-up comedian!

Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."

The kid: But it has no home button.

Me: Exactly. 💀

Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?

Someone turned off flight mode.

(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)

An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."

A homeless kid once said he will go home.

Kid: Knock, knock.

Orphan: Who’s there?

Kid: Not your parents.

I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"

I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."

When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.

When you're watching a 9/11 documentary, that one kid in your class finds the 97th Jenga block and knocks it down.