New Kid Jokes - Page 88 - Worst Jokes Ever

What is the difference between the rook and the bishop? The rook goes straight, while the bishop moves diagonally.

what do you call 1 normal kid,and 2 retarded kids,smoking weed? pot roast.

what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a swimming pool? vegetable soup.

Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.

I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don't understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what's so sad?" and she said "What do you think was running through these kid's heads before they died?" I replied "probably a bullet". She gasped and said "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent's heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."

A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.

When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.

"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.

So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.

He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.

The Make-A-Wish Foundation has gone too far. All of the Make-A-Wish kids asked for cancer to be gone, so they just gave the cancer to all of the Make-A-Wish kids.

I always hated being born a Catholic as a kid. The way you have to keep kneeling down, bending over, and standing up all within a few minutes of each other while at church. I was always thinking, “For God’s sake, just pick a position and fuck me!”

Hate me all you want, but I rather love bullying in all fairness. I love to watch all the loner kids being abused while simultaneously making a prediction for when which one of them will finally snap and shoot up the school.

What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.

Sometimes I just want to toss a flash bang into a room full of epileptic kids.

What's better than eight kids in a dustbin?

One kid in eight dustbins.

What happens when an emo kid loses a Kahoot? He gets a 25 kill streak.

So, a kid walks in the house and says, "Mommy, Mommy, I found daddy!" And the mother says, "Stop digging around in the garden, and let your father rest in peace."

Kid: How much do you get paid?

Teacher: Minimum wage.

When I was a kid, I used to read a lot. I mainly grew up reading stories by Shakespeare, especially the story Romeo & Juliet. That one in particular taught me a valuable life lesson. It taught me to not be surprised when my girlfriend killed herself.