What do you call someone who kisses primary school kids?
Joshua Metcalfe
Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!
Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!
The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.
The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?
what did the pedophile say to the kid?
"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."
What did the pedophile say to the kids?
"FUCK!"
To start, I'm a big fella in size.
I saw a skinny guy act like Santa, so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off," I said. He said, "Then you try it." He gave me the Santa suit, and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.
There was a kid named Buttitches, and his teacher was taking attendance. Then the teacher asked, "What is your name?" And he answered, "Buttitches." Then the teacher asked again, "What's your name?" and he replied, "Buttitches." Then a student yelled out, "JUST SCRATCH YOUR ASS ALREADY!"
When you're playing online with your friend, then you hear a kid scream: "No, Dad, please stop!" Scream ends with a gunshot.
What did the kid with cancer say? "Can-I see my mom one more time?"
A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”
Kid: "I wish I could be like Batman!"
Genie: "Wish granted!"
When the kid gets home, both of his parents are dead.
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.
He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”
I say 123, yeah, the kids bullied me, but they really don't know that my dad has a gun, yeah.
Abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.
These nine kids were being bullied by these 10 guys in an alley. So, I thought I would help.
It was 9/11 all over again.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
Teacher: What is the capital of Washington?
Dumb kid: The W???
Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.
What is a dead kid's favorite anime? Bleach.
How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You poke it on.
A starving homeless kid asks me for food.
I said, "sorry, my plate is full."
