What did the kid with cancer say? "Can-I see my mom one more time?"
A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”
Kid: "I wish I could be like Batman!"
Genie: "Wish granted!"
When the kid gets home, both of his parents are dead.
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.
He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”
I say 123, yeah, the kids bullied me, but they really don't know that my dad has a gun, yeah.
Abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.
These nine kids were being bullied by these 10 guys in an alley. So, I thought I would help.
It was 9/11 all over again.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
Teacher: What is the capital of Washington?
Dumb kid: The W???
Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.
What is a dead kid's favorite anime? Bleach.
How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You poke it on.
A starving homeless kid asks me for food.
I said, "sorry, my plate is full."
I live next to a kindergarten, and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.
Why do kids with cancer hate their birthday?
They don't know if they'll be alive to see it.
A guy is bankrupt, so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can. So the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says, "I'll f--ck you for $10." The boy says, "I would, but I don't have any money." She says, "Ok, I'll take the duck instead." He says, "Ok," so they go upstairs and f--ck. The prostitute says, "That's the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back, and we can do it again." So they do, and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs, the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home, his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says, "Well, I got a f--ck for a duck, a duck for a f--ck, and $25 for a f--cked up f--ck."
I don't know why my blind kid is crying, but I think it could be the tacks I put on the couch.
What if some kid was like, "I'm going to shoot up the school!", and then someone just pulls up with a reverse card?
So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.
That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
