Kid jokes
A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull dog coming back from the kids playground.
Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.
These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"
Where do Down syndrome kids go shopping downtown?
Me: "I like kids."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because some kid was flossing!
When you say to your dad...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Dad be like...
Who wants my son?
Nan be like, "Me!"
Kid be like...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX!
What are roux, says nan?
Um, they're your life savings!
Nan be like, "Let's get some roux!"
My friend and I were walking down the street, and we saw this one disabled kid getting bullied by three other kids. Urgently, we sprinted over to help. He had no chance against the five of us.
Watching "50 Shades of Grey" was more painful than my uncle fisting me as a kid.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
Kids end up playing with toys, but adults end up playing with boobs.
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
Boy: Have you heard of the cool kid who just told us he had autism?
Teacher: What?
Boy: Well... never mind, he's well supported.
One day, I saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" I said, "His parents."
Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.
Q: What did the kid say as he tossed a chair to his neighbor's house?
A: You're the chairman of the board!
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
Fuck you, German kids, especially [those who are] alive.
Do you know why I hate pedophiles?
They are fucking immature kids!
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.