Kid jokes
I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!
So Kobe Bryant walked into a bar, just kidding, he's dead and his fame went spiraling out of control.
How do you make epileptic kids dance?
Throw a flash bang in their room.
Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids?
To tie his kangaroo down, sport!
Once there was a midget man jumping on a pothole saying 43, 43, 43. A kid walks up to the man and says, "Why are you saying 43, 43, 43?"
The man stops and looks at him, then he starts jumping again and says 43, 43, 43.
The kid asked him again and so on.
Then the man stops, opens the pothole, throws the kid in, closes it, and starts jumping and says 44, 44, 44!!!"
I pushed a disabled kid in a fire, then called him "hot wheels."
My wife left me yesterday.
I haven't talked to the kids in a year.
Me: punching a kid.
My FBI agent: You're adopted.
You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.
One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"
The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"
What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?
America's funniest home videos.
Why did the fire not burn the kid? Because it had no lips.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy as a kid?
Hot Wheels.
Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.
Mum: And that is?
*Kid walks out.*
*Kid comes back in with milk.*
Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!
Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.
Son: Really?
Also 2 hours later:
Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.
Mom: Son, I-
What does a bullied kid say during a game of Kahoot?
"I'd like to Kahoot up this school."
I eat kids.
I came home from school one day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks, so I did, except I kicked him, not the rocks, and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way.
Dad: What do you call a crazy creeper?
Mom: Shit, I don't know...
Kid: Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Dad: That's my boy's!!!
So, two kids argued and insulted each other.
KID 1: "Your dad left because he didn't want you, so why don't you kill yourself?"
KID 2: "Well, your dad already killed himself because he didn't want you."