Kid jokes
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
He got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change.
How do you rape a girl?
By doing a tornado kick to your head since you stupid kids like rape jokes!
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
The depressed kid getting bullied.
The bully: "You are useless."
The depressed kid: "I know."
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
Nobody:
Michael Jackson: giving kids a free cream pie.
In Home Alone, if the kid was an orphan, it would just be called "Alone."
My name is Devonair.
When I get a haircut, it's always bald.
Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."
My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*
I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Move to a new house.
What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid?
Father's Day.
What do kids call a balanced meal?
A hamburger in each hand! XD XD XD XD
Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"
Shooter: "Oops."
Kid: Hi Mum!
Mum: Hi, Loser!
Kid: Why?
Mum: You loser, why? Hahaha!
Kid: Waaaaaaa!
I know this is not funny, but who cares?
What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't coming.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.
What famous book writer for kids loved insects?
Beatrix Potter.
I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day and attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why I am talking to the mirror.