Kid jokes

What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?

They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.

I saw a little kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage.

One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.

Five years later, he came back and left again.

Orphan kids only play GTA5 so they can be wanted.

There were four people in a helicopter: Trump, a first-grade kid, a schoolteacher, and the Chinese leader.

There were only three parachutes. The Chinese leader takes one and jumps. The schoolteacher says she has to teach, so she jumps. Trump and the first-grader are left. Trump says, "I've lived my life; you take the last one." So the kid puts on his backpack and jumps. Trump makes it out safe.

I saw a little kid on their bike before. So I ran home to see if it was mine. Mine was still chained up, so we’re good.

How [does] a disabled kid face [the] Jalalas?

He can't run, just hug the bomb.

What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?

CANCER!

Just kidding, they are both fun to laugh at.

Using pi, distract the fat kid next to you so you can copy his answers.

An autistic kid hit me, so I kicked him back and he died.

Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.

My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.

How do you punish a blind kid?

Rearrange the furniture.

So, I walked into the kitchen and saw my mom had made cookies. I stole one, not noticing my mom was behind me.

So my mom said, "Put the cookie back, kid!" and I said I wasn't gonna eat it. Then she said, "Never mind, I'll get your father." So my mom said, "Honey, deal with your son; I'm going to the mall!" And my dad said, "Son, if you're not allowed to have a cookie before dinner!"

So he went into his room, and I heard the belt, and I was going to run, but I knew it would be worse. So he said, "This will be your punishment." As he was getting ready to hit me, I said, "Daddy, no, please, I wasn't gonna eat it!" But he said, "No, you won't change my mind, little boy!" Then he hit me. Thank you for reading! Stay healthy and stay safe in this time. Bye!!! Read more of my jokes; they'll probably be around the website!!

What do kids play when they can't play with a phone?

Bored games.

Get off of here, kids!

An Indian kid walked into the shop and had a curry down because they had no naan bread in stock.

When an emo kid jumps out of a tree, what happens when he hits the ground?

Nothin' much, he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope.

A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"

Remember kids, ejaculate, then evacuate.