Kid jokes
Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.
Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!
Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!
Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!
"It never gets old."
"Just like a sick kid!"
Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?
A: Wanna hang out?
When the school shooter kills five people, and the autistic kid yells, "Heroes never die!"
What do you call an epileptic kid?
Little Seizures.
How do you get the depressed kid out of the tree? You cut the rope.
Tell your adopted kid you want to take them back home and tell them their original parents want them, and get them all excited, then take them to the orphanage and tell them their parents died.
My school is on fire today, and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted, "Hot Wheels!"
I threw a paralyzed kid into the fireplace and called him hotwheels.
Remember, kids: the school shooter can't get you if YOU are the shooter.
When the school shooter breaks into the classroom, and you look at your friend because it's the kid you predicted.
In the morning at 6:30 AM,
Teacher: Who fought in World War I?
Me: Trump & Biden.
Teacher: Oh ok... well good job class, see you tomorrow and study your books.
After school,
Teacher: Oh God those kids know nothing.
"She looks at her clock."
Teacher: And now I am sewed.
Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.
A kid had school today.
He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)
As a kid, I was made to walk the plank.
Because we couldn't afford a dog.
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.
The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five.
It left him hanging.
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
They both leave the little kids' room with empty sacks.
So my dad walks into a bar and there was a hooker and a child. I was with him and they both approached us and they said only £50 for head but it was a little weird that the child was talking to my dad and the hooker was talking to me. I was about to say something but my dad pushed me over and my friend's uncle killed my dad.
The kid was never seen again. Her name was Madeleine McCann. I think I'm the only one who knows where she is, but overall the head from the hooker was good.
What did the kid who has no arms get for Christmas?
He couldn't even open it.