Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?" "No." "Have you always been honest?" "No, never been caught!"
bin laden's relatives died in a plane crash on 8/1 #justice
You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?
Quilty or Not Quilty?
What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid? Reality.
What words black people can't say? "Thanks for your help, officer"
A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and see's a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running building momentum before launching himself at the nun catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement. He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nuns ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habbit and lifting her limp to her feet til face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace the drunk victoriously growled. Your not so bloody tough tonight are ya Batman.
ya make 10 paintings, you arent an artist ya make 20 meals, you arent a chef but when i kill ONE PERSON, im a "horrible person" and a "menace to society"
Why did the orphan go to jail because he could finally have a home
Orphan- I want to be like batman Orphan worker- You are already like him hunny
A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want. A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like batman!" The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.
What did the rape victim give to her rapist?
Head
If you kill someone, that's murder. If you kill a family member, that's still murder. If you kill a child, that's "child abuse"
Have you ever been accused of a crime you didn't commit? Well I have! I was wrongfully accused of larsiny yesterday, im not smart enough for that, I just stole some stuff.m
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why is a white prison inmate scarier than a black inmate?
The white guy did it
FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA, PALESTINE WILL BE FREE. MY NAME SHOWS IT ALL IF YOU CAN'T SEE, IDC AT ALL, YOU CAN BAN ME. BUT LET ME TELL YOU ONE THING, WITHOUT GOD, ISR-EL IS NOTHING. SO LET ME SAY IT AGAIN, ONE LAST TIME, FREE FREE PALESTINE!
One day a snail got robbed by two turtles. The cops arrived and arrested the woman for killing her cheating husband, and the son was sent to child services. (Moral - no one cares about the frkn snail and turtles)
How did Peter Parker get caught as Spider Man? Well, he weaved a really tangled web and Aunt May saw it.
A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970 and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband. She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.
Wait, what? Was he actually her husband. He was a christian so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.
Wait, what? the bible doesn't say that.
Actually yes it does and marital rape was legal until 1990.
WAIT WHAT? Thats not funny.
I'll tell ya whats funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.
