Joke jokes
Why did Steven Hawking go to hell?
Because there is a stairway to heaven.
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died?
There was a mix up, and he was dropped at PC World instead of A&E!
What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?
A can o' bull.
Someone tracked down a cripple and said, "You can hide, but you can't run!"
What if some kid was like, "I'm going to shoot up the school!", and then someone just pulls up with a reverse card?
A guy walks into a gun store and everything is half off. He looks at his son and says, "I didn't know back to school sales started yet."
What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?
There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.
What’s the relationship between a pedophile and a light bulb? They're both meant for dark rooms.
Q: What do you call a sad soda?
A: Soda-pressing.
What does an emo kid and an apple have in common?
They both are hanging.
What did the kid say to the toilet?
"Did you order a number two because I got one ready for you?"
What is the oldest animal in the world?
A zebra—it is black and white.
How to get your joke on every category? Michael Jackson, towers, morbid, emo, school, short, penis, sects, little Jonny.
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What did one nut say to the other nut?
A: "Candice deez nuts fit in my mouth."
Why was it wrong to throw my Chinese friend down the stairs?
What's an Asian orphan's surname? No Pham.
The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.
What do you call a dead hooker?
It doesn't matter, she won't answer you.