Joke jokes
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died?
There was a mix up, and he was dropped at PC World instead of A&E!
What if some kid was like, "I'm going to shoot up the school!", and then someone just pulls up with a reverse card?
What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?
A can o' bull.
Someone tracked down a cripple and said, "You can hide, but you can't run!"
What did the kid say to the toilet?
"Did you order a number two because I got one ready for you?"
What do you call the Christian version of Donald Trump? Holy shit!
Why was it wrong to throw my Chinese friend down the stairs?
What did one nut say to the other nut?
A: "Candice deez nuts fit in my mouth."
How to get your joke on every category? Michael Jackson, towers, morbid, emo, school, short, penis, sects, little Jonny.
The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"
What's an Asian orphan's surname? No Pham.
What is the oldest animal in the world?
A zebra—it is black and white.
Why did Steven Hawking go to hell?
Because there is a stairway to heaven.
What's the difference between acne and a priest?
Acne waits until a boy is 13 before it comes onto his face.
What does an emo kid and an apple have in common?
They both are hanging.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trashcans.
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A guy walks into a gun store and everything is half off. He looks at his son and says, "I didn't know back to school sales started yet."
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.
Q: What do you call a sad soda?
A: Soda-pressing.