Joke jokes
What is black, white, and red all over?
A dead zebra 🦓
Why is a nun called a nun?
'Cause they ain't supposed to get none ;)
A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging, “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says, “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Aarghraawa."
Me, a Chinese woman, and her BFF walked into a bar. I asked the Chinese girl for her number. She said, “Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!” I said, “Wow!”
Then her friend said, “She means 666-3629.”
Have you heard the joke about the sheep, drum, and snake?
"Baa" "dumm" "tsss"
Did you hear about the restaurant they're putting on the moon?
Good food, but no atmosphere.
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died?
There was a mix up, and he was dropped at PC World instead of A&E!
What if some kid was like, "I'm going to shoot up the school!", and then someone just pulls up with a reverse card?
What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?
A can o' bull.
Someone tracked down a cripple and said, "You can hide, but you can't run!"
What did the kid say to the toilet?
"Did you order a number two because I got one ready for you?"
What do you call the Christian version of Donald Trump? Holy shit!
Why was it wrong to throw my Chinese friend down the stairs?
What did one nut say to the other nut?
A: "Candice deez nuts fit in my mouth."
How to get your joke on every category? Michael Jackson, towers, morbid, emo, school, short, penis, sects, little Jonny.
The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"
What's an Asian orphan's surname? No Pham.
What is the oldest animal in the world?
A zebra—it is black and white.
Why did Steven Hawking go to hell?
Because there is a stairway to heaven.