Joke jokes
What’s a Mexican person’s favorite spot?
Cross country. 😉
A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde walk into a bar.
They were having a chat when the bartender asked them about their opinions on elements.
The redhead says, “I love gold because I can buy a lot of cars with it.”
The brunette says, “I would prefer platinum because it is more valuable than gold and can buy you more cars.”
The blonde says, “I have 2 bags of silicon and you should see the cars outside my house.”
(First Person): Knock knock, who's there? (2nd Person): Lemme talk to you, when we finna slide, what we finna do, knock knock, who's there, time to make a move, slayin' all then demons and we gotta move in too.
(Second Person): Knock knock, (1st p): who's there, let me talk to you, be careful where you steppin' out cause you ain't bullet proof, knock knock, who's there? time to make a move, block is full of shooters, and they didn't come to hoop.
Child: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodnight Grandma. Goodbye Grandpa!
Dad: Wait, why are you saying that?
Child: I just felt like it.
The next day, the Grandpa is dead.
Dad: That's just a VERY scary coincidence.
Child: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodbye Grandma.
Dad: Wait, why are you saying that?
Child: I just felt like it.
The next day, the Grandma is dead.
Dad: That's just a VERY scary coincidence.
Child: Goodnight Mommy, Goodbye Daddy!
Dad: Oh no. If I survive until tomorrow, everything will be okay!
Survives until tomorrow.
Dad: Whew! That was nice! *Goes to house*
Mom: Honey! I was so worried about you! The mailman just dropped dead on our porch!
(If you don't get it, the mailman is the biological father)
What is black, white, and red all over?
A dead zebra 🦓
Why is a nun called a nun?
'Cause they ain't supposed to get none ;)
What's black, white, and "read" all over?
A zebra after a lion is full.
What do you call a cow with three legs?
My ex.
A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging, “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says, “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Aarghraawa."
Me, a Chinese woman, and her BFF walked into a bar. I asked the Chinese girl for her number. She said, “Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!” I said, “Wow!”
Then her friend said, “She means 666-3629.”
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.
What’s the relationship between a pedophile and a light bulb? They're both meant for dark rooms.
What if some kid was like, "I'm going to shoot up the school!", and then someone just pulls up with a reverse card?
Q: What do you call a sad soda?
A: Soda-pressing.
What did the kid say to the toilet?
"Did you order a number two because I got one ready for you?"
What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?
A can o' bull.
Someone tracked down a cripple and said, "You can hide, but you can't run!"
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died?
There was a mix up, and he was dropped at PC World instead of A&E!
What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?
There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.