Joke jokes
What does an emo kid and an apple have in common?
They both are hanging.
What if some kid was like, "I'm going to shoot up the school!", and then someone just pulls up with a reverse card?
What did the kid say to the toilet?
"Did you order a number two because I got one ready for you?"
What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?
A can o' bull.
Have you heard the joke about the sheep, drum, and snake?
"Baa" "dumm" "tsss"
Did you hear about the restaurant they're putting on the moon?
Good food, but no atmosphere.
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died?
There was a mix up, and he was dropped at PC World instead of A&E!
Someone tracked down a cripple and said, "You can hide, but you can't run!"
What is the oldest animal in the world?
A zebra—it is black and white.
Why did Steven Hawking go to hell?
Because there is a stairway to heaven.
How to get your joke on every category? Michael Jackson, towers, morbid, emo, school, short, penis, sects, little Jonny.
What is the best type of snake?
A dead one.
What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?
A tire.
(A tire as in clothes and the tire? U get it? No? I'm lonely. Add me on Xbox: DECIMUS PAX)
What do you call a chicken with no legs? Ground chicken 🤣💀🐔 Get WRAY'DDDDD!
You calling me gay, but the pole is straighter than you.
What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...
They're both plastic and kids turn them on.
Do you wanna hear a Gay Joke...
Butt fuck it.
Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia.
The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly.
After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes.
The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it:
"Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please."
His friends laugh at the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep.
After a good night's rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went.
The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn.
The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared.
The receptionist responds:
"Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke."
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in the garage.
If a pregnant woman is under water, isn't she technically a submarine?