Joke jokes
Your mom finds a mirror on the scrapyard and says, "I would have thrown away a picture like that, too!"
Why couldn't Bob hang himself?
Because he had no arms to tie a knot. :'-)
Knock knock. Who’s there? Tank. Tank who? You're welcome. Hehehehe😛😛😛
So the horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"
UwU
Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms or legs.
What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Knock knock.....Who’s there... Not the little boy.
Why did the mushroom get a new house?
Because there wasn’t mushroom!
You know we straight with doin' your mom.
Eggs
You crack me up!
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite genre of music? Rock and roll.
There is one good part about paedophiles... they go slow in school zones.
Why wasn’t the duck afraid to cross the road? Because he wasn’t chicken!
What do you call a man who lost his car??
Carlos
What did the dog say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? "Hey, mitosis!"
What was the guitar teacher arrested for? Stringing a minor.
Why take a nap on the toilet?
Because it's a restroom.
Eagle: "You know why hunting me would be a bad idea?
Because it is ILL-EAGLE!"
Why do I tell bad jokes?
I'm a lesbian.
A man and his friend walk into a bar on a 30-story building and order a drink of beer. Then one of the men jumps out the window and he can fly, so he says to his mate, "Gary, take a sip of this drink, it makes you fly!" So Gary takes a sip of the drink, jumps out the window, and dies. And the bartender says, "Gee, Superman, you're a douche when you drink!"
One day, Billy's teacher asked him, "I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?"
Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."
"Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"
"Maybe it was a tricycle."
"Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!"
The teacher grabbed Billy and escorted him to the principal's office and explained what happened. The principal looked sternly at Billy and said, "Stop lying, Billy. You know your mom didn't have a bicycle or a tricycle. What did your mother have?"
Billy looked up, fear in his eyes and said, "Well, maybe she had a go-cart."
That was more than enough. "I'm calling your mother right now!"
Soon, Billy's mother arrived at the principal's office. "It seems that Billy has decided to start telling lies. His teacher asked him what you recently had, and he said a bicycle, then a tricycle, then a go-cart!"
Billy's mother teared up, and through her sobs, replied to the principal and teacher, "No. Sadly, I had a miscarriage."
Billy sat up straight and said, "I KNEW that damn thing had wheels!"
This is a joke about Ms. Ploopatoink, a made-up character who is a pink fluffy pony who loves toilet paper.
Why is Ms. Ploopatoink like a toilet plunger?
They both jump in the toilet!