Joke jokes
I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!
Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?
I really hit the mother lode with you!
What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."
What's Momma bear's favorite baseball team? The Cubs.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he had "no-body" to go with.
I think I'm a red zebra!! Cuz I'm stripped red, iykwim.
What is red, pink, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
What is green, brown, and goes round and round?
The same baby 3 weeks later.
Why can't you make jokes about catholic priests?
Because they blow up in your face.
What do you call a woman covered in mud? A dirty dishwasher.
I'm reading a book on anti-gravity, it's impossible to PUT DOWN!
I told one of my friends, "You're the reason why gene pools have lifeguards."
Roses are red, violets are blue.
These jokes are old, come up with something new!
How do you find a black person in the dark without a flashlight?
Tell them a joke to make them smile.
What is black, white, and red all over?
My third wife.
Why did the toilet paper not make it across the road?
Because it got stuck in the crack.
Tell someone that you're gonna say “I 1 poopoo” and it will go in order of numbers, so they say, “I 2 poopoo” & so on:
You) I 1 poopoo
(Them) I 2 poopoo
(You) I 3 poopoo
(Them) I 4 poopoo
(You) I 5 poopoo
(Them) I 6 poopoo
(You) I 7 poopoo
(Them) I 8 poopoo
And be like, “You ate poopoo??! EWW!!”
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.
Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”
“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”