Joke jokes
Is that a mirror in your pocket?
'Cause I can see myself in your pants.
My joke is:
My life.
I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she was hit by a bus.
Me: Have you seen a Mr. Weewoo?
Most people: No.
Me: He drives the ambulance downstairs.
I'll turn ya nan into bonemeal.
Who would win?
The laws of the Catholic Church which have been effective for over 900 years,
Or one horny Henry?
What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!
A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says, "I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?"
Man, "Sorry, I thought it was the start of Eastenders!"
What do you call a magic owl? Hoo-dini.
Beth was from Spain and she had a pig. What did they call her?
Beth-la-ham
My friend: What are you doing?
Me: I'm making holy water.
My friend: How?
Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.
When the emo kid is about to hang himself in the school bathroom, and the autistic kid starts swinging the rope like Indiana Jones!
What do you call a fat fortune teller? A four-chin teller.
Q: What did one atom say to the other?
A: I have my ion you.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn't exist then.
Aren't my egg yolks amazing? Don't they make you crack up? If not, I better scramble!
What was the last thing to go through the terrorist's mind? The detonator.
A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!
I love escalator jokes. There's not too many steps.