Beth was from Spain and she had a pig. What did they call her?
Beth-la-ham
Joke Jokes
My friend: What are you doing?
Me: I'm making holy water.
My friend: How?
Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.
When the emo kid is about to hang himself in the school bathroom, and the autistic kid starts swinging the rope like Indiana Jones!
What do you call a fat fortune teller? A four-chin teller.
Q: What did one atom say to the other?
A: I have my ion you.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn't exist then.
Aren't my egg yolks amazing? Don't they make you crack up? If not, I better scramble!
What was the last thing to go through the terrorist's mind? The detonator.
A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!
I love escalator jokes. There's not too many steps.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on pot?
Pot wheels.
I told my dad, "I just thought of something funny." He said, "Your face?"
Why do orphans go to church?
Because it's the only place where they get to call him "father."
My friend looks like a homeless, thanks for the jokes.
If sex with three people is called a "threesome" and sex with two people is called a "twosome," then I know why people call you handsome!
Do you want to hear a joke about pizza?
Wait, no. It's too CHEESY!
I have a joke about death.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Think about it :)
Why do orphans go to church?
It’s the only place they can call someone “father.”
Why can't Sally hit herself? Because she has no arms.
What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?
"It's dye-ing."
