Joke jokes
What kind of file turns a 5mm hole into a 3cm hole?
A pedo-file.
Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”
“And yer hand?” asks Marty.
“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”
“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”
“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”
“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”
“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”
Funny jokes are like kids with autism.
They have special needs to make them.
What's the most between my uncle and aunt?
My aunt waited until I was 14 to come on my face.
What do you call a vagina with multiple clits?
A tongue workout!
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To wipe the chicken's ass!
How do you spell racecar backwards?
racecar
How do you spell racecar sideways?
Paul Walker's death.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 1: LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid's sketchers light up.
DISLIKE: When the school shooter finds you and you think you're gonna die, but he remembers the time you gave him a pen. 🖌
Vote for the better joke!
Wanna hear a joke?
This site.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What’s big, red, and eats rocks?
A big, red, rock eater.
Why did the two balls cross the road?
To get to the penis!
Sorry, too rude?
So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"
Shorkey will find you in bed tonight, and he will eat you like my joke or else...
What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
Answer: cancer.
What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?
They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.
Uh!!!
I'm gay, lol.
What did the terrorist do when his kidneys failed?
Dial-ISIS!
What do you call a low budget terrorist attack?
7/11