Joke

Joke jokes

Skeleton

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

Because he had "no-body" to go with.

Masturbation

Boy goes to Confession.

Boy: "What are you doing, Father?"

Priest: "It's called masturbation, and soon you will be doing it."

Boy: "Why do you say that, Father?"

Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired!"

-not my joke

Tower

American people: We will throw your teabags in the ocean!

British: At least our towers didn’t fall. 😎

Orphan

Guys, we should stop telling orphan jokes. Their parents will get mad. Oh...

Racist

What did the cops say when someone called him racist?

"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."

Emo

I wasn't going to tell another emo joke, but I didn't want to leave anyone hanging.

Flashlight

How do you find a black person in the dark without a flashlight?

Tell them a joke to make them smile.

Beard

Why are Palestinian boys so eager to grow a beard?

So they can use their mum's ID to get in the club.

Twin Towers

Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it has faster reflexes than the Twin Towers.

Poopoo

Tell someone that you're gonna say “I 1 poopoo” and it will go in order of numbers, so they say, “I 2 poopoo” & so on:

You) I 1 poopoo

(Them) I 2 poopoo

(You) I 3 poopoo

(Them) I 4 poopoo

(You) I 5 poopoo

(Them) I 6 poopoo

(You) I 7 poopoo

(Them) I 8 poopoo

And be like, “You ate poopoo??! EWW!!”

Boyfriend

A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.

Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”

“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”

Name

One day, a kid walks up to their mom and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom's reply is, "Because when you were born, a daisy landed on your head." The second kid asks, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom's reply is, "Because when you were born, a butterfly landed on your head." Then you hear, "Ooooooooohahbfisbfsdkf."

"Shut up, Brick!"