Joke jokes
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it felt crummy.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? ... Because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep."
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Because they found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment!
What do you get when you cross a pedophile and an elementary school? Predator 3.
A horse walks into a bar.
The barman says...
"Why the long face?"
Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he felt like it mind your f***ing business like damn.
Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast!
What do you call a skeleton's omelet?
A bonelet.
Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.
I have a really good construction joke, but I’ll have to post it later because I’m still working on it.
I once did an exam on rainbows. I passed with flying colors.
Why was the sheep arrested?
Because he did a "ewe" turn on a motorway.
My friend David lost his ID.
Now he is just Dav.
I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.
Have you heard about the canoe sale down the road? It was an ordeal.
What do you call a stoner when horny?
A weed whacker!
What dinosaur loves music?
The velociRAPtor!
My teacher started talking about houses, then I said I don't want that informansion.
Why should you abuse the hell out of an orphan? Because what are they gonna do? Tell their mom or dad?
Dumb person: Wat idk mean?
Person 1: I don’t know.
Dumb one: Oh u don’t know okie I ask Googol.
Person 1: Wait idk means--
Dumb one (to Googol): WAT DOS IDK MANNN?
Googol: I don’t know.
Dumb one: OH ME GOOOD EVEN GOGLO DOESYN KNOWWW