Joke jokes
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
*funny joke about dicks*
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 4
LIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
DISLIKE: When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
Vote for the better joke. Semifinals are later or tomorrow.
A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"
She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.
The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."
Prince will be coming back in 10 mins here is a joke.
Gwen: Prince sorry but I'm wanting someone else instead. You've just been a complete jackass toward me, sorry good night.
Prince: Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gwen: Good night!
Prince: Why?
Gwen: Because...now good night!
Prince: We can work some things out?
Gwen: Nope...NOW GOOD NIGHT!!!!!!!!
To be continued
Kyle's penis is small.
Why did the booty go to therapy?
It had some DEEP-SEATED issues.
I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.
Me: Knock knock.
Person: Who's there?
Me: No-one.
Person: No-one who?
Me:...........
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to Birds Eye.
What is stuck between a doorway?
Rebel Wilson.
Quit making those progeria jokes. They get old very quickly.
What do you call a chill transgender?
Fictional.
What noise does Sally like to say? Splat!
It said to submit a joke, and that's what my mom did when I was born.
What’s the difference between a dumpster full of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?
Neither have they...
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
When does it rain money?
When there's a change in the weather.
Will you remember me in 7 years?
(Yes)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?