Joke

Joke jokes

School Shooter

VOTING QUARTERFINAL 4

LIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.

DISLIKE: When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”

Vote for the better joke. Semifinals are later or tomorrow.

Car

A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"

She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.

The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."

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  • Jackass

    Prince will be coming back in 10 mins here is a joke.

    Gwen: Prince sorry but I'm wanting someone else instead. You've just been a complete jackass toward me, sorry good night.

    Prince: Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Gwen: Good night!

    Prince: Why?

    Gwen: Because...now good night!

    Prince: We can work some things out?

    Gwen: Nope...NOW GOOD NIGHT!!!!!!!!

    To be continued

    Penguin

    A man runs into a church and shouts, "Are there any dwarf nuns in the monastery?" The Pope said no, causing the man to say to his friend, "I told you you fucked a penguin!"

    Priest

    What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?

    A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.

    Orphan

    Stop telling orphan jokes before they tell their parents.

    Oh wait, they don't have any, please continue.

    Monkey

    Roses are red.

    Violets are blue.

    I saw a monkey yesterday, and thought it was you.

    Nose

    Q: What happens when an Asian with an erection walks into a wall?

    A: He breaks his nose.

    Orphan

    Why do orphans eat cereal with water?

    Because their daddy still hasn't come home with the milk.

    Orphan

    What do you do when you're sad? Kick an orphan!

    What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

    Tool

    Some dude called me a tool.

    So later I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend.

    Guess he was right :/