Joke jokes
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find the first base they came from.
What did the tree wear to the pool party 🥳?
Swimming trunks.
Why did the pillow go to court?
Because it had a pillowcase!
Kid: Licks money.
Mom: Hey, don’t lick the money. It is dirty.
Kid: Is that why they call people filthy rich?
I drew a fist on a body, and then I drew a guy saying to him, "That dude's a knucklehead!"
When you say to your friend, "I've got your back," then at his funeral you see in his coffin he's missing his middle piece.
What’s a Cannibal’s Favorite Food?
Ra-men.
What does the bee say to the fly?
"Buzz off!"
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."
What did Adam say when he saw Eve?
Answer: "Woman!"
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"
The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."
Play dead, they said.
Wasn't too hard.
I've been dead inside for years.
What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I'll just hang around.
I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it.
You know when people say a joke about living?
That's because we are all living a joke.
How do you surprise a blind man? Put a plunger in the toilet.
What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, he still hasn't opened it yet.
Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!
Wife: I’m pregnant.
Husband: Hi pregnant, I’m dad.
Wife: No, you’re not.