Joke jokes
Boy: Will you remember me in a minute?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a day?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a year?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Knock knock.
Mom: Who's there?
Boy: Bitch, you forgot me.
A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?
The feather, because the rope stopped the child.
SAVE ORPHAN JOKES! SAVE THEM!
What do you call someone who wants to jump off a building?
Cause they want to become Super Man.
What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives, and a frog croaks every day.
When you think you're depressed, but you know you're probably just using depression to be lazy and self-loathing, but then you realize that it, in itself, might actually be a symptom of depression.
Well gang, it looks like we've got another mystery on our hands!
Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!
Why can't orphans work at SC Johnson?...
Because it's a FAMILY company.
My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.
So I took down his confederate flag.
Why did the cow have for breakfast?
Answer: Muesli.
What did the snail say to his ex-wife?
"I'm still leaving you!"
My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.
Teacher: Why do people snore?
Me: Because they sleep.
What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?
He said he was awfully touched!
What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?
"I'm sorry, I just had to."
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!
What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.
What's pink and rusty? Madeline McCann's bike.
What do you call a person with no nose and no body?
Nobody knows.
Why can’t orphans work at SC Johnson’s?
Because it’s a family company.