Joke jokes
Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
Today I told my sis, "Knock knock."
She said, "Who's there?"
I said, "I Eat eat my mop."
She said, "I eat mop poo instead of who."
Knock, knock. Who's there? Susan. Susan who? Season your chicken, it's too plain!
A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"
The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.
What did the kangaroo say to the elephant? Hi up there!
What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?
It said nothing, just let out a little wine.
I would tell you a science joke, but I know I won't get a reaction.
What time are most dentist appointments? Tooth hurty.
Your face is a joke.
What did the man say when he swallowed a clock and tried to go to the bathroom?
WATCH OUT!!!
"So you dropped my instruments on stage?"
"It was only the Bass!"
You want a joke? My entire existence.
If you overdose on Viagra, do you die... hard?
Q: Why did the family want to move out while the neighbors were playing tennis?
A: Because they were a racquet!
I just stepped on a corn flake. I'm officially a cereal killer.
What do you call a 6 year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What noise did Steven Hawking make when he died?
Windows shutting down.
I left Iran. Guess how? I ran!