Joke jokes
Why can't bugs drive... because they don't have a LICE-ens...
BA-DUM CHHH!
How do you scare a bee?
Boo-bee!
Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.
Hey, wanna hear a joke?
Yeah, me too.
Q. What monster plays the most April Fools' pranks?
A. Prankenstein.
Wanna hear a joke?
Me.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? He didn't have any BODY to go with.
Why would a dead guy lie?
Because he can't stand up.
What did the shoe say to the other shoe?
Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.
The udder day I drank milk.
It was udderly delicious!
Why was the calf afraid?
Because she was a cow-herd.
They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Dishes."
"Dishes who?"
"Dishes a bad joke."
Why did the one-armed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Yo man, stand up.
*short person stands*
No, seriously man, stand up!
Why did the roster cross the road twice?
To prove it was not a chicken.
I once made a belt out of clocks.
It was a waist of time.
What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
What do you do with a dead scientist?
You barium.