Joke jokes
What do you call a fart in a gay bar?
A mating call.
Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.
But you gotta eat it!
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.
My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.
Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.
A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.
And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"
How do you tell whether you’ve satisfied a redhead?
She unlocks the handcuffs.
The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it.
I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.
I’m a faux pa.
What does a cannibal do after eating its vegetables?
Sells the wheelchair.
I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property.
I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.
The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff?
Neither did I until I found his Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.
What did the man say to the deaf kid? He said...
What do you call a group of black men hanging from a tree?
Alabama wind chimes.
If two blind people meet, one of them says: "Long time, no see!"
Why did Ten need a therapist? He was in between 9/11.
A child, molester, and priest walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?
He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.
My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.
The only thing drier than these jokes is your mom.