Joke jokes
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
I got udder jokes too.
What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?
"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer.
At school, Bobby's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, Bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "Why are you crying?" Bobby says, "Someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die?" His mom looks him straight in the eye and says, "Depends, which one are you referring to?"
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
So you're the one!
What's black, gold, and red all over?
Tupac in Vegas.
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"
What is a paedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
Free delivery XD
Want to hear something that’ll make you smile? Your face muscles.
What do you call a black person in a dark room?
Invisible.
What happened when the cheetah took too many baths?
He became spotless!!!
I would make a joke about your mom, but cows are sacred in my country.
I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.
Q: What's black, white and red all over?
A: A blushing zebra? No, Michael Jackson after a Pepsi advert.
What's long and not very hairy?
The conga line at the cancer department.
What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? "You're dead to me."
Dark humor is like water.
Not everybody gets it.
What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.
I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."