Joke jokes
What do you call a vagina with teeth?
A vicious cunt.
Where did Sally go when the bomb went off?
Everywhere.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altar boy.
What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini.
Friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Other Friend: Sure.
Friend: Pussy.
Other Friend: I don't get it.
Friend: And you never will.
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual assault?
Your birth certificate is a complaint to the condom factory.
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!
Q: Why did the Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was hit by the first Koala.
Q: Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in.
Some guy farts and says, "That was some asshole behind me."
What's the best thing about fucking 21 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
These are all really nice jokes, but here is one.
Boy: Spell ME.
Girl: M-E.
Boy: You forgot the D.
Girl: There is no D in ME.
Boy: Not yet.
Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C!
Q: Why can orphans swim?
A: They have or-fins.
What do you call a Mexican that smokes weed? A baked bean.
Was gonna make a gay joke but fuck... Cum on guys.
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon!
(9/11 joke)