Joke

Joke jokes

Autism

Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?

Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C!

Steven Hawking

Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?

Mother: He died.

Daughter: How did he die?

Mother: He never got recharged.

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  • Irony

    The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.

    Tiger

    One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"

    Priest

    Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."

    Egg

    - I think you're EGGcellent.

    + Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.

    - Really? Are you done yet?.

    + Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.

    Pedophile

    What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?

    "Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"

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  • Gun

    I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer.

  • 6
  • Grandpa

    At school, Bobby's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, Bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "Why are you crying?" Bobby says, "Someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die?" His mom looks him straight in the eye and says, "Depends, which one are you referring to?"

    Wife

    What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?

    "Wait, I can explain everything!"

    Face

    Want to hear something that’ll make you smile? Your face muscles.