Joke jokes
What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?
Spasticelastic.
What do you call an Indian with pink hair?
Ghandi floss.
Why is it ok to smack an orphan?
What are they going to do? Tell their parents!
What do a priest and a McDonalds have in common?
They both slide their meat in 10 year old buns.
Where did Sally go when the bomb went off?
Everywhere.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altar boy.
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
Your birth certificate is a complaint to the condom factory.
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual assault?
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
I don't say funny stuff because I'm afraid they will take the German passport from me.
Wait, isn't this Sans' job to make a joke?
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap til' their parents get home.
What do you call a heterosexual man performing fellatio on another heterosexual man?
Bisexual.
Aren't paraplegics just plegics that can fly?
I don't like making 9/11 jokes because every joke about 9/11 I make has a tendency to crash and burn.
What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!
Q: Why did the Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was hit by the first Koala.
Q: Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in.
Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C!