Joke jokes
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
Do you know how to make 4 Albanians stand on a shoebox?
Just tell them that it floats.
What do orphans call a family pic?
A selfie.
What did the priest say to the skunk?
Let us spray.
What do you call a vagina with teeth?
A vicious cunt.
What do a priest and a McDonalds have in common?
They both slide their meat in 10 year old buns.
Why is it ok to smack an orphan?
What are they going to do? Tell their parents!
What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini.
Where did Sally go when the bomb went off?
Everywhere.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altar boy.
Your birth certificate is a complaint to the condom factory.
Friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Other Friend: Sure.
Friend: Pussy.
Other Friend: I don't get it.
Friend: And you never will.
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual assault?
Wait, isn't this Sans' job to make a joke?
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap til' their parents get home.
I don't say funny stuff because I'm afraid they will take the German passport from me.
What do you call a guy from India calling you?
A scammer.
You want to hear a rape joke? Yeah. Damn you ruined it.