Joke jokes
There's two types of emo people:
1. People that cut side to side.
2. And people that cut up and down.
The most efficient is up and down.
What’s the difference between an LGBTQ and brain cells?
Brain cells make up their mind.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?
A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.
Why is flour retarded?
Because it's in-bread.
Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""
"You stabbed my brother!"
"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"
What do you call a black comedian?
Dark Humor.
The new pandemic is feminism and all kinds of democratic thinking. COVID is a joke compared to these nasty ass diseases.
*sans*: Why was the skeleton depressed? Because Frisk keeps resetting and it resets when he lost his phone.
What is the biggest joke ever? Trump.
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?
You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
How much pussy does a priest get? None.
What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?
My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.
What do you call 4 black guys and 2 white guys?
The Oreo Gang!
I’m not saying my life’s a joke. I’m saying it’s the punchline no one asked for.
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."