What do you call a person who doesn't masturbate?
A liar.
Joke Jokes
What do you call an 18 year old orphan?
Homeless.
An emo went to high five a tree, and it left them hanging.
All these jokes really hijacking my mind.
Q.) What do you call an orphan's family tree?
A.) A family stump.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Di.
Di who?
See, easily forgotten.
Why do orphans hate health ed at school?
Their parents can't opt them out of it.
Wanna know why I don’t make suicidal jokes?
Because I am one.
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?
"Sum ting wong."
They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.
I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.
I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.
I can make 9/11 jokes, but every time I do, they crash and burn.
What instrument do skeletons use? A trombone! Haha!
Suicide isn't a joke. It's called "parkour gone wrong."
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
Why was the tower of Pisa leaning?
They had better reflexes than the trading center.
Mom: I'm getting you a dog!
Me: OMG REALLY?!
Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?
Me:...
Me: Bitch, please.
Why does Sans say "I got a bone to pick with you?"
Because he needs to pick your balls.
Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.
We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"
Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡
What is a prostitute's favorite form of traffic control?
Speed humps.
