Joke jokes
What do you call a black abortion clinic?
Crime Stoppers.
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
Everyone: You gotta pay the cost to be the boss.
Germans: You gotta be the caust to be the boss.
what do you call an emo person who's not depressed?
dead.
Your ma is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."
The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"
There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.
What do you call a bunny with a bent dick?
Fucks funny.
My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."
I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."
What do sex and food have in common?
Grandma makes both better.
A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”
The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”
I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."