Joke jokes
Your hairline goes back to when your dad left you.
Guy: "Can I tell you a joke?"
Spiderman: "Yes."
Guy: "You only have 11 months on your calendar."
Spiderman: "Why?"
Guy: *holds up knife* "Because I murdered May."
Why do orphans hate health ed at school?
Their parents can't opt them out of it.
Yo mom's so old, she was happily accepted into the museum.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a drawer?
The drawer has papers.
We should really stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad.
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
What do you call a black abortion clinic?
Crime Stoppers.
What do you call 4 black guys and 2 white guys?
The Oreo Gang!
There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.
What do you call a bunny with a bent dick?
Fucks funny.
My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."
I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."
What do sex and food have in common?
Grandma makes both better.
what do you call an emo person who's not depressed?
dead.
A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”
The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.
My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.
I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.
What joke could orphan's never understand?
Your Mom jokes.