Joke jokes
They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.
I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.
I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.
I can make 9/11 jokes, but every time I do, they crash and burn.
What instrument do skeletons use? A trombone! Haha!
Suicide isn't a joke. It's called "parkour gone wrong."
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
Why was the tower of Pisa leaning?
They had better reflexes than the trading center.
Mom: I'm getting you a dog!
Me: OMG REALLY?!
Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?
Me:...
Me: Bitch, please.
Why does Sans say "I got a bone to pick with you?"
Because he needs to pick your balls.
Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.
We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"
Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡
What is a prostitute's favorite form of traffic control?
Speed humps.
An orphan? We no jokes.
Jokeless orphan since they were always stacked on jokes.
All these suicide jokes are f***ing killing me.
Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.
What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?
I can't jump off a burrito.
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
Welcome to Arby's, where your babies become our gravy!
What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?
A JUMBO shrimp.
What is the difference between a condom and an orphan?
One of them is used.