Joke jokes
Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
Two terrorists walk into a bar.
The bartender asks what they are talking about. Terrorist 1 says, "We are going to kill 14k people and a donkey."
The Bartender asks, "Why a donkey?"
Then Terrorist 2 says, "See, I told you no one would care about the 14k people."
What is George Floyd’s best pick up line?
"You're breathtaking."
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
what do you call an emo person who's not depressed?
dead.
A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."
The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"
How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?
Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.
What do you call a Chinese man in the summer heat? Boi Ling.
You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
What do you call 4 black guys and 2 white guys?
The Oreo Gang!
There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.
Everyone: You gotta pay the cost to be the boss.
Germans: You gotta be the caust to be the boss.
What do you call a bunny with a bent dick?
Fucks funny.
My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."
I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."
What do sex and food have in common?
Grandma makes both better.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."