Joke jokes
What did one orphan say to another orphan?
"Get in the batmobile, Robin!"
One day my mom told me to take out the trash, and I did. The next day, mom asked me, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "A garbage truck took her." Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left.
What do you call a cow in the snow?
Chilli Beef.
If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?
What’s the speed limit in bed?
It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
One depressed kid goes to high-five a tree, but the tree just left him hanging.
Q. What's the most musical bone?
A. The trom-bone!
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.
Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."
"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."
What do Greek people never want to have on their food? Grease.
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Philipe Philope.
So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.
I’m just kidding.
I see you guys have SANS-ational jokes!
What did one copper say to the other? C U.
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"
If someone calls you dirty minded just say:
"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."